Your local Booze paper not a Snooze paper      Aloha Sunday 15th Jan 2006      Price: a bottle of Broon Ale & a Curry

Photo of Global Warming
Pub Owner Bert Sproggett got so fed up with the miserable weather in the North East that he decided to do something about it. He had his Pub, the "Satellite" taken down piece by piece, numbered and reassembled like a giant jig saw puzzle in Fiji. 

We opened up for the fist time last week and we've had a mixed response. 

The locals weren't to sure about the pub games . Darts for instance gets rather heated and the losing side tend to change their darts for spears. it can become a bloodbath but its nothing compared to some Saturday nights back at Simonside. 

We've had some of our old customers from Shields pop in to see how were doing. 

Dougie Fairside and his Greyhound Daisy said. 

"Its nice to see Bert doing well. Its a long way to come for a game of Dominoes and its taken my life savings to get here. 
Its not something I could do every day. However I met a Fijian in the pub and I think I may have cornered the market in "Shrunken Heads." I think they could go down a storm in South Shields Market. Should pay for a few Saturday nights." 

The last word from Bert Sproggett. 

We've had to introduce a whole new range of drinks. We tried to sell our beer as "Exotic Beer of the World but as Memor Maplin has said all along. North East beer is urine. The locals refuse to drink it."

story by Memor Maplin ACE reporter

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